Dear Hendrix,
As you’ve noticed by now in these letters, I’m obviously a very devout, religious person. If nothing else, I believe that spirituality is the foundation of a good… oh, who am I kidding? God is dandy if the idea works for you, but I just want to do what seems right and live a decent life, hopefully leaving things a little bit better than I found them
To that end, I wanted to take a fun moment and create my own 10 Commandments, just for you! After all, what’s the fun of being a parent if you can’t offer a little advice? Only, I won’t hide mine in a burning bush for you to find later like Moses. I’ll put mine in The Stranger for the world to read! Fun fact: Your great-aunt Betty was in the 1956 movie the 10 Commandments, as the woman in red on the golden calf. Pretty cool, huh?
1. Thou Shalt Invest Your Money
I wish I realized this bit of advice sooner. There I was, a 20-something, spending my hard-earned cash on overpriced thrift store items—most of which were just re-thrifted right back—and just wasting my capital. Don’t get me wrong, I highly recommend thrifting (especially to save money). But I don’t recommend overdoing it. Don’t just throw your money around, invest some of it! I can’t believe I’m saying this, but grow your money. Make it work for you. I wish I knew about an IRA or hell, even Bitcoin or any of the other booming innovations 15 years ago. Better late than never—but I’m telling you now so you can start well before I did. (Just beware of financial advice from Matt Damon.)
2. Thou Shalt Not Do Drugs With Losers
If you haven’t yet, go read the past letter “Don’t Smoke Weed… With Losers”. But in case you’re pressed for time, here’s the quick version… Losers bring you down, by definition. Don’t do anything interesting with them.
3. Thou Shalt Learn How to Change a Tire
When your Uncle Cedric (aka C-Dog) bought me my first car, he taught me all the basic car maintenance skills I’d need if I was alone on the road—changing a flat tire, checking the tire’s PSI, the location of the engine coolant reservoir and what to do if the engine overheats, where to add oil and how to change the filter, and how to jump the battery. He didn’t want me to have to rely on anyone if I found myself in a jam. We all know the story of the damsel in distress and Henny, I never want you to be the damsel in distress. Fairy tales might tell of handsome princes, but it’s more likely you find a serial killer frog.
4. Thou Shalt Watch Every Episode of Living Single
Living Single, which aired from 1993 to 1998, is the greatest show in the history of television. The characters (especially Maxine Shaw [attorney at law!] and Overton Wakefield Jones), the jokes (“No no, I think [men] are more like cheap pantyhose—at the worst possible moment they run on you” or “Life isn’t fair, that’s why bras come in different sizes.”), the truth in their friendships and arguments—it’s chef’s kiss. I can’t wait to watch every episode with you over a bowl of ramen and a mug of hot gossip!
5. Thou Shalt Sometimes Take Risks
Risks are subjective. For example, if you’ve written a song or a poem and you believe in it, but you’re scared to perform it, just fucking do it. If you come up with an idea for a novel but you think people may make fun of you for the queer main characters or the interracial superhero, forget them and show the world your art! Patience is one thing; fear and timidness are others. If you care about what you’re doing, pursue it, loudly, shamelessly. After all, someone thought it was a good idea to put fucking pineapple on pizza—they weren’t bashful, even though I think the idea is absurd!
6. Thou Shalt Protect Yourself and Loved Ones by Any Means Necessary
Henny, I hope no one ever hurts you, because then I’d have to hunt them down like Rambo in First Blood and throw a grenade in their, well, you get the idea. Darling, I hope you find people to love as much as I love you. And when you do, you’ll know what this commandment truly means. In the meantime, don’t let anyone diminish the love you have for yourself.
7. Thou Shalt Remain Curious
Keep learning. Try something new—even daily. Challenge yourself, travel, meet people, and do that thing that’s so intriguing to you. Whatever it is. And remember: sometimes you fear that which you are most curious about. (And to be clear, I don’t mean for you to seek out danger. Just mystery.)
8. Thou Shalt Embrace Boredom
Go stare at a wall. You’ll thank me, I promise.
9. Thou Shalt Express
There’s nothing like being able to express yourself in whatever medium you’re passionate about. Through music, cooking, writing, fashion, whatever—you can find what it is that inspires you and share yourself! Let them know you were urged by the universe to define yourself loudly. As much as society is often that annoying boss who likes to micromanage and tell you what you should be doing, I promise you, it is only your job to define you. And it comes with great benefits!
10. Thou Shalt Make Your Own List
As you grow up, Henny, find what matters most to you in life. What do you want your kids, cats, friends, or mentees to learn from you? We should all have 10 Commandments that apply to our own lives. There’s no wrong answer, Hendrix. Except putting pineapple on pizza. That’s fucking disgusting!
Eva Walker is a writer, a KEXP DJ, one-half of the rock duo the Black Tones, and mom to her baby girl, Hendrix. She also cowrote the book The Sound of Seattle: 101 Songs That Shaped a City, which was released in 2024. Every month for The Stranger, she writes a letter to Hendrix to share wisdom learned from her experiences—and her mistakes. Read all installments here.
