Happy anniversary. It has been 10 years since we divorced. Cheers to us not working out.
Remember when I was trying to get you to sign my divorce papers, and you asked if I was possessed? Which is so funny now. Because you were the abusive youth pastor and I was the submissive wife who didn’t know better. But then I started to see better, and realized you breaking things around our home when the Cowboys lost and breaking my things when you lost video games wasn’t very godly. But then again, I wasn’t the one who could quote scripture like you. 😘
Remember when you convinced me to take a student loan out in your name because “it’s a joint debt,” yet I had to sue you to force you to pay me back? Wild. 😜
For our anniversary, my gift to you is to let you know I had a one-night stand in a minivan at a conference in Arizona, and it was the first time I came while having sex, which made me realize I didn’t have to get blackout drunk to enjoy sex, it was just a you thing.
Oh, and your twin brother and I totally would have hooked up if I wasn’t scared of you beating the hell out of me. He was the better twin. (Ask yourself why he left his wife immediately after I left you. ☺️)
Enjoy your 40s, buddy.
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