It was clear what people were looking for when cars began to slow down on that Ballard street. No one yelled for him, but I knew. They were looking for Jimothy, the short-spined raccoon who took the internet by storm just last week.
But please, Seattle, leave Jimothy alone.
Jimothy is for everyone, but do not go looking for Jimothy. Maybe you live in the neighborhood and were on your way home. Maybe you weren’t intending to add to the traffic and were just hoping for an innocent glimpse. But Jimothy doesn’t have an Instagram. You can’t tag him in photos and videos. He does not (and should not!) know that he is carrying the emotional weight of an entire city, nay nation, on his compact little back.
Love the pictures and videos of him that we already have. Make Jimothy art and hang Jimothy signs and plaster the city in Jimothy stickers. But please, do not go looking for Jimothy. Don’t loop the block one more time; don’t loiter on the side of the road in hopes that you see him skedaddle across the street.
Besides, raccoons eat small mammals. What will you think if you catch him tearing into a baby bunny or a robin’s nest full of eggs? Keep the mystery alive. Leave him alone.
Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous, and maybe we’ll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to [email protected]. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty. Read more I, Anonymous letters here.
