Shame. On. You. We’ve all heard it, and probably—if we’re being honest—our discipline tactics have included it. It’s an easy fix; a quick correction with immediate results. But research suggests that disciplining in a manner by which our children feel shame (as Brene Brown puts it “I am bad”) as opposed to guilt (“I did something bad”) damages your relationship with them, their self-esteem and ultimately can result in the exact opposite behavior from that which you’re trying to encourage.
So what’s a parent to do? When a child misbehaves—especially over, and over, and over again in the same manner—it’s our job to correct that behavior.
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