Name: Secret signals.
Age: Ancient.
Appearance: A beaver emoji followed by an aubergine emoji.
I don’t get it. Yes, you do. If somebody sent you an emoji of a beaver followed by an emoji of an aubergine, what do you think it might mean?
Wait … I’ve got it. Took you a while, but well done.
It means: “We need to buy more aubergines.” No, not at all. It’s a sex thing.
Oh! Well, who would send such filth? Former professional footballer Peter Crouch, that’s who. His wife Abbey Clancy went on a podcast and explained that this is his secret method of seduction.
OK, not sure we needed to know that. Does it work? Unsure.
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