Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett rightly recognises that there is a significant change going on in terms of sharing the upbringing of children (Can we call time on the ‘doesband’ doing ‘daddy day care’? Fathers are way past that, 19 May). Yet I feel my – and my husband’s – hackles rising. We made the decision to share responsibilities as much as possible. We never saw his role as a “doesband” (how matronising).
The fashion for portraying parenting in terms of chore load is so reductive. Where is the sharing of joy in this martyred (mostly maternal) mindset that counts the time cost of every aspect of domestic life, and never permits
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